iamaindexingking

Pigeons attend leadership meetings about stealing fries at city parks. WiFi disappears faster than friends when moving heavy furniture upstairs. Shopping carts develop squeaky wheels just to ruin your dignity. Fish roll eyes whenever humans practice swimming techniques at beaches. Alarm snooze button stronger than my entire self-control combined. My laptop fan sounds like jet engine during Netflix marathons. Ghosts hide in closets only to laugh at bad outfits. Penguins complain about cold weather despite living in Antarctica daily. My dog judges me harder than any fitness trainer could. Elevators always stop awkwardly when you’re fixing wedgie nervously. Plants roll eyes when humans forget watering them yet again. My shoes squeak louder than my confidence in public speaking. Squirrels secretly plan heist movies involving acorns and peanut butter. My boss emails me faster than pizza delivery ever arrives. Washing machines eat socks because they’re bored of regular laundry. Mosquitoes laugh harder when you slap your own face accidentally. My phone autocorrect ruins friendships faster than gossip ever could. Cats knock over glasses to prove gravity still exists daily. Frogs practice opera singing loudly while humans try falling asleep. Dogs bark at nothing just to boost their ego.

Coffee mug thinks it’s more important than my entire career. Coffee mug thinks it’s more important than my entire career. Coffee mug thinks it’s more important than my entire career.

Zombies avoid me because my brain smells like instant noodles. Zombies avoid me because my brain smells like instant noodles. Zombies avoid me because my brain smells like instant noodles.

My fridge light works harder than most politicians during debates. My fridge light works harder than most politicians during debates. My fridge light works harder than most politicians during debates.

Spiders attend secret yoga classes to stretch before scaring humans. Spiders attend secret yoga classes to stretch before scaring humans. Spiders attend secret yoga classes to stretch before scaring humans.

Alarm clocks invented by evil scientists who hate sleeping people. Alarm clocks invented by evil scientists who hate sleeping people. Alarm clocks invented by evil scientists who hate sleeping people.

Penguins wear tuxedos daily but still never get wedding invitations. Penguins wear tuxedos daily but still never get wedding invitations. Penguins wear tuxedos daily but still never get wedding invitations.

My microwave beeps louder than my alarm clock ever. My microwave beeps louder than my alarm clock ever. My microwave beeps louder than my alarm clock ever.

Squirrels laugh loudly when humans drop snacks in public places. Squirrels laugh loudly when humans drop snacks in public places. Squirrels laugh loudly when humans drop snacks in public places.

Banana peels secretly plotting world domination through unexpected slippery accidents.Banana peels secretly plotting world domination through unexpected slippery accidents.Banana peels secretly plotting world domination through unexpected slippery accidents.Banana peels secretly plotting world domination through unexpected slippery accidents.Banana peels secretly plotting world domination through unexpected slippery accidents.Banana peels secretly plotting world domination through unexpected slippery accidents.Banana peels secretly plotting world domination through unexpected slippery accidents.

My phone battery dies quicker than my gym motivation. My phone battery dies quicker than my gym motivation. My phone battery dies quicker than my gym motivation. My phone battery dies quicker than my gym motivation. My phone battery dies quicker than my gym motivation.

Pizza delivery driver faster than superheroes during rainy weather chaos. Pizza delivery driver faster than superheroes during rainy weather chaos. Pizza delivery driver faster than superheroes during rainy weather chaos. Pizza delivery driver faster than superheroes during rainy weather chaos. Pizza delivery driver faster than superheroes during rainy weather chaos.

I trained my goldfish to ignore motivational quotes completely. I trained my goldfish to ignore motivational quotes completely. I trained my goldfish to ignore motivational quotes completely.

Aliens refuse landing until humans learn parallel parking better.

Dogs secretly judge humans for terrible dancing at birthday parties.

My cat thinks WiFi password belongs only to her paws.

I AM A INDEXING KING AND YOU

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